yesteryear

i was just readin' an old post from an old(er) blog of my own. of which was a post referring to an even older post from an even older blog. so technically this is a post about a post about a post of another of my blogs. haha :)

its funny how things turn out haha

but today, i saw something else.

i saw something of the future in You.

which is why, we have hope :)

and so, the post yes the post!:
Friday, August 01, 2008

will the real jon lee please stand up?
i was just reading through my old posts when a particular one caught my attention. dated dec 20th 2003.i sound like a different person.goodness, look at august25th 2003.im shocked (and amazed) at sept 8sept 1, 18yearold's concept of ahembut i actually remember the 20th of dec 2003. i was still really into bball. i was still lovin' and still livin' (haha i used to write like that) and most of all, i remember that play i watched that night with davin. i put up my hand that night and You saw me.but it almost feels surreal. I can hardly recognize. goes to show how much life changes, shapes, moulds. (You, really :) ) i could never have imagined what was on the cards. not even close. i was happy. i was happy go lucky. not a worry in the world.not that i'm no longer, but it's just so different.growing up eh' hmmmmmmmmmmmmmsome say growing up makes you more cynical. you could probably add to list: worry worry worry. more responsibilities. prioritize, prioritize. so much to do so little time. didn't do that well enough. forgot to do that. ah, no money. oh, if only. this one that one. sound familiar? haha.i was reading a chapter out of 'The Secrets Men Keep' last night. (what a title) and apparently, men find it progressively harder to let stuff out after they've been burned. a state of broken-ness and vulnerability you'd rarely find a man, often hidden under an escutcheon of pride, and image - it's a different type of pride. so yeah, it's tough to talk about deepest darkest. while i don't think this is exclusive to just men, I also see just how vital it is to incorporate deepsharing in men's discipleship.to comfort them with a; 'it's okay. really.' a pat on the back. a heartfelt prayer.I used to really love psalm 119. it was the young man's psalm/prayer for me. i also found it soverycool that it was the longest psalm. like extra special haha (ok easily amused) but yeah the whole hide Your Word in my heart theme. loved it to bits.another thing. i think deep down, for most guys, we still really wanna be that knight (i'll leave out the shining armour). ok, maybe not quite batman dark knight, although that would be reallycool, 'oh, actually im batman' hahahahaok maybe not. but yeah. the whole righteousness, justice, chivalry thing. fighting for what we believe. fighting for the poor. fighting for the powerless, the mistreated. and not only fighting the good fight, and trouncing our enemies, but romancing the lady, (singular, and special) with utmost respect.but most of all, laying down our lives for the King.for honour, for gloryfor the King that saved us all.another great point was that Christian men go through years and years of well, being Christian, just to become? well. really nice guys?is that all we are? or become? really nice guys? forgive me, but mayhap, that sounds a little boring. sorry, but i'd be a batman any day. hahaha. I think it's vital to also remember that as we surrender ourselves continually, it does not necessarily mean we become boring and unassuming. I really think that the Creator is far more creative than that :)and so, the whole point was? oh yeah. i read an old post from back in 2003.i think i would do good to remember just how far God has brought me. and be thankful for it. i'm not boring.

i 'm justswept away by His love.
Posted by iamjonlee at 12:51 AM 0 comments

haha

at least.

hello!

just felt like penning (well ok, typing) a heartfelt post coming from the real iajl

it feels good. it feels good to be close to God. through the hardtimes and heartache, self-doubt and self-consciousness, it somehow seems ok. because of Jesus, really. if not for Him, i really shudder to think where i'd be right now. prolly a hermit somewhere or idunno. on the streets or something. destroyed by the condemnation of notbeing goodenough nor living up to the world's standards - being eaten up on/from the inside.

Truely His love is amazing. with it, i learn not to fear. (because perfect love drives out all fear) i learn not to judge (because i will be judged by the same measure upon which i judge) and i learn to well, believe. and have hope. and joy. and faith and truth and love. :)

recently, i heard someone's take of what being loved by God must be like - 'like being wrapped up all over with cottonwool, soft and nice' :) i can't help but smile at a description like that really! haha. so nice and mmmmmmm. it's alot more than that though, methinks. it must be an infinite amount of cottonwool, because He is! :) because no one can grasp or comprehend how far, wide, deep His love is.

i cant explain it. how can you explain love? (gosh i sound like a emo teen again)

what does God's love mean to you? and me? i'd like to have a good think about that. and let the depth of His love and truth seep into the wells of my heart. (psalm 119)

and you know what? His love comes with something really cool too.

passion.

passion for people and purpose. inspiration, motivation whatever you want to call it. its this passion that gets my creativejuices flowing. a passion for life, a passion to live.

if anything, just for that

i already can't thank You enough.

sometimes i forget..

that i've been set free


this moment,
i will remember




seeds.

at the end of the day...

... i love my mom and dad :)









Ever praising You.

Ain't No Sunshine

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.

It's not warm when she's away.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone,

Wonder if she's gone to stay

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

Hey, I ought to leave the young thing alone,

But ain't no sunshine when she's gone, only darkness everyday.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone,

And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.


Anytime she goes away.


-Bill Withers, 1971

:)

learning to rest :)

haha. i am already loving how this blog post title sounds. :)

but what a great weekend (the bum week makes it so much sweeter)!

i actually thoroughly enjoyed church earlier. The scripture passage was apt (ephesians) and something that has been on my mind for a while now. and while lou de lorenzo articulated it perhaps differently to how i would interpret it, it was still very relevant. actually...

what struck me more was N's poem to C, read out to the congregation! *awww*

that

was special. :)

actually, today didnt turn out how i thought it would haha. but it always turns out for the best. Your best :) and that's already more that i could ever hope for.

thank You so much

love,
jon :)

i realise...

...that in a couple of weeks i'll be muchmore free. haha! although that's also when everyone else gets really busy tho. hmmm. maybe i shall be a cheerleader for everyone else then haha :)

*save the cheerleader, save the world*

lol! don't mind me, i dunno i dunno why that just popped into my head! and...yeah. suddenly... male cheerleader seems kinda... wrong.

haha!

i realise....


that the semester is already fast drawing to a close. I can envision all the work that's (still) left to be done, but the light at the end of the tunnel is apparent too. :) just time to knuckle down and get things done!

CMON IAJL!











above: one of my assignments due this evening.

oh and i overheard T sharing with E yesterday about taking holidays. T introduced that we can sometimes take '10-minute-holidays' from our work, which is muchmore fulfilling and satisfying than 10-minute worrisome procrastination because we purposefully let go for awhile and do something uplifting. Then we can get back into it properly after with more energy/drive having been restfully satisfied with our little holiday :) hmmmm, interesting! i guess yeah the mindset plays such an important part in even perceiving our rest period. procrastination activity vs rest activity ooooh that's a good one to think about!

on another note, i have to confess that last night's sleep was a bit of a letdown. haha. okok secretly i think my designwork is still swimming around my subconscious... i think i was thinking about my design in my sleep all night! at least all the bits that i wokeup between i caught myself thinking about design.

ohno! im becoming an architect! o_O


i realise.

who's lovin' you?

while i dunno if the simon bit was staged, his voice gives me the heebeejeebeeesss :)

things.

there's a milliongazillion things to do, and so i start with the first one.

start - being the key word here. i am already behind, but by His grace, there will be progress.

thing is, i actually know what's needed. a change of heart, a paradigm shift. ooooo which reminds me i'm due to meet TG. somehow in this blank whitespace on my monitor, i am finding solace.

there is stuff which is weighing heavy on my heart. some call it a burden. i call it stuff. but the remedial action is the same - pray.

:)

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" Romans 12:12

ouch

a silly thing happened to me in the night.










when i sleep, i generally start out flat on my back but i tend to curl into a ball under my covers a bit later (esp when it starts to get cold).

but this time, when i was (well, curling into a ball), you know how there's a swingdown motion of the torso as your legs come up right? right. just so happened that this time, i actually hit my head on the corner of my bedside table. and it was a sharp corner too. i thought i was bleeding on my bed haha and just lay there sorta knocked out (i got my left temple lol) HOW CLUMSY CAN YOU BE, IAMJONLEE!?

when i was young, my mom used to make me wear a helmet. because my head was too big (and heavy) for my body and i used to lose balance and hit my head on things.

(good to know) some things dont change huh. haha. :)

this is especially silly when i realise that i have a rather large bed (queen). yup. silly huh.

i got owned!

hello again!

well whaddaya know.

almost a year to the day, and i'm back here again.

iamjonlee.blogspot.com

hahaha.

it's been awhile, mate. a looooong while.

too long almost, but the others got some attention (at least momentarily)

but here i find myself, able to type without looking (finally) and without making too many mistakes, still trying to figure life out in the same withbatedbreath manner that oftentime leaves me breathless in the end.

haha what was with that sentence.

meanwhile, my dear blog, life's been a'happening. ;) in a good way, too. and i have much to share.

God has been good. very very good. as He is good both now and forever. :)

challenges anew everyday!


there's something about writing. it just, does good to me. it does really. and its not just about like being able to pen down my thoughts and re-read what i write and gasp at what an emokid i am. no. it just, releases me. in many ways. helps me get over things. helps me remember things. helps me through (forget) things. haha. and maybe it's for all to see. maybe it's not.

i confess i am cautious with words. with people. but being a cautious person certainly doesnt justify being nothonest with what i write. you see, too often i'd rather let you not know about it in a subtle cryptic-ish manner than to have you find out and think whateveryouwouldthink about me. and i also know the power of how words can affect people.

but tell you what. here, i will tell it as it is.

only if it brings life.

:)

i'll try k?

good to be back

cheerio!