apparently, i don't really update too often. haha. im so funny.
and yet, i sometimes feel like i need this. maybe not quite always in this form, but there's something about the writingdown of our lives that we become subtly aware of a bigger story at hand. at times, i find myself oddly contemplative. and there's nothing quite like organizing all that mishmash in my head through pen and paper. or in this case, er, keyboard and fingers? i also think it helps my sanity. yeah. um, yeah.
i like stories. and i like writing stories, just as much as i like telling them. i also find typing somewhat therapeutic. ok, so i also like to play that how-fast-how-accurate you can type game though im not much good at it. i suddenly also remember that there's some kinda disorder you can get from typing on a pc keyboard right!? (although with the number of posts here i know im not even close plus i dont use msn or any chatting thing) i digress.
speaking of storytelling, i also remember a couple other points that others close to me have brought up about me telling stories (often at an ocf-type event maybe?) that i (should) have to take note of. ehhemm.
supposedly i tend to:
a)use big words alot when im seriously describing something
b)make things sound more complex than actuality (erm trying to sound smart?)
c)sound like a politician even when talking to friends (politically correct?)
d)sound like a narrator for a pre-recorded message (especially when i pray apparently)
e)occasionally switch into some weird-odd-accent or intonations for some words only (well surely i dont sound aussie?)
true, no? haha i actually don't know but this is what others have told me :) and i trust them so i believe them! anyway, i digress.
I increasingly find that often there's something in there thats really seeking some form of expression. i suppose expression can be in various forms, with writing but one of them. i think of K every so often when it comes to writing because i really respect her ability to have her way with words. i also look at someone like C or JM with an ability to channel deepstuff into beautiful creative outlets through song and music, or B through dance, J through art.. so on and so forth. if only.. ok im starting to wander off again thinking of all the people and their creative gifts that inspire me. see this is why this writingstuff is good for me too. it helps me practice keeping track of my thought progression - to catch myself whenever i wander off. which is often. and also to sum things up together in light of the bigger picture. thats how i work, thats how im wired. I find myself constantly thinking, organising, clarifying in my head - the way you organise clutter, and align/assemble other trains of thought according to purpose. this occasionally does get the better of me, especially since thoughts are invariably linked to and susceptible to emotions. this probably also explains how certain extreme conditions/circumstances (such as architorture thesis!) have led me to previously experience perhaps what would best be described as a manic state. i couldnt shut down - couldnt stop asking/organising/dissecting in my head even at the point of bodily exhaustion. the human mind is an incredible thing, yet to what purpose do we put all this thinking to? I guess the point of all this thinking/typing so far is to think about how i think and what i think about, and in light of that to think about what all this thinking is for.
yet all this thinking can't compare to understanding with heart.
details with our heads, yet story with our hearts.
maybe im onto something here.
