i'm actually blur, like sotong.

there's something about being close, and in tune with the Spirit, that makes it seem like.. yeah, really all things are possible! like there's something (One) bigger than life's complications. it is a calming sense of overwhelming peace, with a dash of inexpressible joy and hope. of a love that's always true. that never fails.

sometimes i do pray for more faith. to be more hungry for the Word. to have my eyes (not bags) see not as the world sees, but from God's perspective. an eternal perspective.

but, oftentime, we can't see past the next test. the next meeting. the next argument. etc.

the redeeming power of Jesus becomes so real when you come, just as you are. I tend to forget how close He really is. at times i go 'where are You?', and think He's really far away. But right then, He really is just close by. But my heart is at the time so far from Him, that i cannot see. my mind however, does remind me 'on autopilot' about what He has said in His Word. so even when i cannot see, or hear, i try to remember what He has said, and act accordingly. try.

but i fall short, more often than not. i'm inclined to think that when all You have is the Law, and not faith (in Christ Jesus), then invariably you fall short. when we live and act not according to the Spirit, but to the sinful nature.

Romans 3:21-23, Romans 8.

But a life in Christ, is so different! He's more than everything. greater than my desires. knows my every thought. knows my inequities, my unlawfullness and my insecurities. knows the deepestdarkest that i try to hide. and you can tell Him. how unworthy you are. and yet, He opens His arms, and says:

'Come.'

Come! what a response! is there no greater affirmation or acceptance of me. what of the terriblethings, the sillythoughts and things i maybe didn't do. i have been a man deserving nothing. am a man deserving nothing. let alone forgiveness. let alone a crown of Glory! let alone a promise and a hope, of a loving God who will neither leave me nor forsake me. and somehow, deep down. you just know. you know that's what you've always longed and hoped for.

talk about amazing grace.

all of a sudden, i'm remembering a sermon about curry. okok not about curry, but about substitutes. and in the love of Christ, indeed there are no substitutes that come close to comparision!

i sometimes think i care too much. people used to say i care too little.

no, i'm actually just blur. like sotong. the only difference is the love of Christ that changed this heart.

edit: i sorta wondered how many times Jesus asked people (or someone) to 'come'. So just from the Gospels.. (via biblegatewaysearch :P ) i think approx 40+ times?

John 6:35, 37 :)

35 Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.

37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

Amen!