indelible

i went for a walk today.

it was a beautiful day. temperature was oh just right. like a cool singapore day without the humidity. it was pretty random, but i just got up and walked out the door in the middle of doing something else. didn't bother dressing up (not that i do), didn't say anything. just put on them slippers (!) and walked.

naturally, i thought a lot. and i prayed a lot. i asked God a lot and i remembered a lot.

as i walked past the many faces - i couldn't help but remember again that there are countless stories going on, all at the very same time. all concurrent, many interwoven. and then i can't help but think how big God's heart must be to love us all.

but also, for the first time in a long time, there was a familiar sense of displacement. the recollection that while i am not my own, i am also somebody. not a lifeless generic yes yes toy tossed about and around by the turbulence of life, but having a will of my own. crafted uniquely for a purpose. but having an option to choose. a hope to believe in. and something to fight for.

their stories are not my story. and where they intertwine, they'll form part of it for a time and a season. but there is still a distinction. come a time, there is still a choice to be made. A conscious unwavering will to stand firm for faith and for hope and for love. no one's going to make that choice on my behalf. nor is it going to be the default. i realize and remember that it is only I who can decide.

and so i choose.