clarity

i realise from that day in church: all along, there has always been a presence

sometimes i mistake that for something else. it all gets quite murky at times, this stuff. but also because it's so raw. it's so piercing. it's so consuming. we all need to be careful with it.

it's difficult to find sometimes. difficult to locate, to remember. it is so much easier just to get by without it - but that would mean barely living. diminishing what could be beautiful because i just couldn't be bothered. it dawns upon me now that perhaps part of the reason i've been so affected by stuff is because i think it's You - when perhaps it's not. or is it?

clarity is something i trying to grasp, in and amongst the thick of it.